The only upside to bikini season being over is that it’s fancypants season, with a bundle of reasons to dress up (what feels like) every weekend. Last weekend, of course, was Thanksgiving – and y’all, I figured out the Perfect Holiday Dress.
[Yes, I know that, like life, you can’t “figure out” a dress, but humor me, ok?]
Scroll down for Perfect Holiday Dress suggestions 😉
My sister took these pics on my iPhone, one of those rushed photo sessions you do in the living room while your significant other is warming up the car and you’ve pulled the cheesecake out of the freezer and the animals are doing laps around the apartment because they know something is up and they are sure (rightly) that they won’t be in on it.
However rushed, though, how could you possibly skip even the lowest quality photos of the Perfect Holiday Dress?
What makes it “perfect,” you ask? Why is what my sister and I lovingly call the “slutty Portuguese widow dress” the epitome of holiday dressing? Isn’t it sort of subjective?
Here’s my effort to explain logically what the heart knows to be true (about the dress, not about the Meaning of Life):
It’s classic…
Black, long sleeves, conservative length, these are all qualities that we are comfortable with. Any dress with elements of traditional style (whatever your cultural context) is a good bet.
…but not too classic
Outside of birth control, train schedules, and voting machines, who wants total predictability? This dress embraces those classical elements (color, silhouette, even the lace) and builds on them to create visual and textural dimension. We have ruffles, we have cut-outs, we have transparency – all of which keep you from looking like a saggy, dusty doily. It has that element of fun which, in my opinion, is ESSENTIAL from keeping you from dress-up burnout during the holiday season.
It’s practical
Pockets, anyone? Perfect for stashing cookies, bread rolls, antacids, tampons, lipstick, dog treats, a Life Alert button – whatever the season demands.
Moreover, the color means I can drink all the red wine – wait – kegstand the cranberry sauce – ugh no – use my fancy dress as a napkin – wait, got it – forgo a bib at family dinner, #classy.
Also classy? You’re not showing that much skin, if the Fashion Prophet Cher Horowitz has anything to say about it:
I mean, you’re still covered, even if your dress is transparent, right? Haha.
My one complaint? Lack of eating room.
Perfect Holiday Dress Picks!
I get it, “perfect” is in the eye of the beholder – BUT each of these has that sweet combo of “classic-with-a-twist,” spill-proof (relatively), and YES, they ALL HAVE POCKETS.
[For some reason, the site won’t load the photos in uniform sizes – so the best we can do is a sort of patchwork-quilt-type list. Thanks for hanging in there!]
What’s your idea of a perfect holiday dress?
love,
Stig
