That’s right, we’re back with another edition of “I Double F-ing Dare You,” where my sister finds the most ridiculous clothes possible and dares me to style, photograph, and post them. Post them, like, in public, where my friends, exes, family, coworkers, future children, etc can see them.
After all, I’ve learned to take life with a sort of levity that I’m quite proud of – but this in no way applies to a dare. I take dares very seriously, especially from a family member, and doubly so when it’s from my sister. Make it a “double f-ing dare,” and things get Biblical.
It’s a covenant, of sorts; if you have siblings (or friends who may as well be), you’ll get it. You can’t not do a double f-ing dare. These types of dares are notarized by Lord Jesus, witnessed by Mary, delivered by Buddha, blessed by Mohammed, and shepherded by Moses (and invoiced by the devil, mostly to tax me on the misappropriation of sacred figures).
If you’ll remember, back in November Julianne sent me a package:
Yes, it took me awhile to get this thing done. It was actually much harder than I thought to style a sateen, cow-print midi dress with puffy sleeves (who knew?). It’s an odd throwback to the 1980s, when fashion was looking back to the 1930s: a cow print on a sheath dress design that is straight out of a phone operator’s closet. How the hell do you bring it to 2020? I hoped that if I let my mind marinate with it for awhile, a styling solution would come to me.
Creating Balance
I knew that because this dress was too big for me, I’d likely need a belt to give it shape. A small belt would get lost in the pattern, but a big chunky belt would look dated or kitschy. I needed a way to bring the dress out of the “1930s-ala-1980s” vibe it has going on and make it feel current.
Sure, the midi length and satin fabric are “in” at the moment, but the neckline on this piece is dated and frankly, unflattering on my frame. A crewneck with puffy shoulders expands the chest, making your head look weirdly small. Knowing this, it seemed important to define the waist and elongate the leg as much as possible to create balance.
Balance was really the key word – balancing the proportions, balancing the retro references with current trends, and finding equilibrium between the two.
With that in mind, I kept the color palette black and white for two reasons: 1. I couldn’t think of any type of color – pastels, brights, etc – that hadn’t been iterated ad nauseum in previous decades; and 2. Monochrome (or bi-chrome in this case) is really fresh right now, so keeping it black and white was clearly the way to go.
Then I dealt with texture, which is a great way to make old looks current. I needed to sharpen the dress up, which would steer it away from ’80s camp, so adding anything too soft or too clunky was off the table. The latex corset belt was such a saving grace here – it added a sort of icy shine, while bringing the whole thing to the present (latex and corsetry being very popular at the moment).
The combination of the belt and the sky-high stiletto pumps was an enormous boon for the quest to balance out the proportions – the belt by creating a visual anchor at the narrowest part of the body, and the shoes by creating the longest line possible from toe to waist.
I feel like we pulled this one off, even if just barely – what do you think?
Thanks to Papa Mendes for the photos!
If you have any crazy outfits you’d like to see “made work,” send them my way, preferably with a sassy note. You know where to find me: Stig@StigMendes.com or DM me.
love,
Stig
