I’ve been hearing this one dialogue on repeat since the onset of the pandemic: there’s simply no point in dressing anymore, because there’s nowhere to go.
We’ve all felt it at some point – for some, it’s in fleeting moments, for others, it’s a chronic state.
But let’s examine this for a moment, and it is worth examining because what irks me about that statement has nothing to do with how we all look as we go about our (socially distant) days. Appearance is not what matters here.
What rubs me the wrong way is this: no matter where you find yourself, your day is important. How you spend your time is meaningful. Independent of how much you got done, how many people you impressed, how many hours you logged at the office, how many projects you’ve signed on to and completed, how many important meetings you were a part of – your reality matters. You exist outside of those metrics. You’re more than who sees you, and more than the bond that clothing can create between people (which I don’t say mockingly – that’s real and much less superficial than we give it credit for).
What matters is how you feel in your own skin. As you work in different rooms in your house, water your plants, snuggle with loved ones, fold their shirts – how does it feel to be in your body right now? How do you see yourself? Are you present and honoring what you’re up to today?
What We Tell Ourselves Through Our Clothes
If you love clothes (or want to learn to love clothes), dressing is an act of accepting who you are RIGHT NOW and HONORING what you’re up to (all caps necessary, because I’m legit shouting those words, k?). For many people – especially marginalized groups – dressing is an act of resistance as they step into their full identity. And still, that act of resistance is actually one of acceptance of who they (we) are, isn’t it?
These “acts” of dressing can be as small as a loving mental note to yourself: “Today my juicy ass wants some sweats and a baggy t-shirt.” Embrace it. Get your cute butt in some sweats. Or it could be a slightly bigger step: “Today I want to feel good at my job – so I’m dressing for the office, even though I’m working at home.” Get your adorable self in those slacks, chica. Or even bigger, more obnoxious acts like wearing a silk dress on a Saturday night at home, done to the nines because – you guessed it – you want to watch opera on the sofa.
All these little gestures we give to ourselves signal how we value our time, what we think is “worthy” of dressing, and how we view productivity. What quarantine has revealed is that all these things are related. It’s only human to want another person to validate an experience for us – I mean, that’s one reason why film, writing, and social media exist – but we have intrinsic value apart from that.
What I’m saying is: grab your joy where you can get it. It’s sparse nowadays, but not gone. Don’t let social distancing keep you from living as fully as possible in your body and in your space. Dress in a way that respects what you’re all about right now. You may be surprised at how you feel.
love,
Stig
