Didn’t see that one coming, did you? To be honest, neither did I. 2020 seems like just the worst year for dressing up – especially considering that so many of us are unable to spend the holidays with those we love and we’re all coping with some level of tragedy or another. This post is not to diminish this – but to honor it.
As I was writing last week’s post on how to do your best with what you’ve got, I said to myself (I says): menina, what do you have to lose by celebrating the little things? What do I you have to lose by celebrating the big ones?
Exactly.
For those of us who see dressing as a form of celebration: what do we have to lose by dressing up?
I want more of that for all of us.
More photos from my October trip to visit Julianne in this post and this post!
I’ve written a lot about why we dress up. For me the “why” is always where the magic is, even for the most ordinary things. It drives Rodrigo nuts because I’m like that toddler who’s just learned to counter every f-ing thing with “but why?”
There are so many reasons why we dress the way we do (or don’t, if you’re a naturist). For me, the only fashion rules I abide by are these:
- Never hang knits
- Dress in a way that honors who you are and what you’re up to
On Julianne: Dress by Badgley Mischka (rent here, buy similar on sale here)
So what are you up to as this year draws to a close?
I’m not talking about what your Plans are – most of us don’t have any, other than Zoom calls. I know I sure don’t. I’m talking about your outlook – how are you feeling? How do you want to handle the close of 2020? What does your heart need?
I’ll go first: I’m going to be super transparent here. I’m not saying this to be a downer, just to be REAL with you. The past ten days have been a hellhole for me. My chronic pain has notched way up, as has my ADD – and along with them, all kinds of feelings about worth and productivity and career and ability and the size of my life and the value of my real estate in the world and the tragedy of broken dreams – and on and on and on with my tiny little violin. I’m not into astrology, but sometimes even I look at myself and say, damn, you a Scorpio much?
You can imagine that I’ve had many conversations with my little heart about feelings, and how they’re temporary, and how just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you are that feeling, and gratitude, and grabbing your joy, and so on and so forth.
I’ve taken long, hot baths and listened to romance novels with a bottle of wine, gone through my bank accounts and cancelled unnecessary recurring payments to lessen my financial stress, taken the dog on little walks around the neighborhood, paid bills early, tidied up, eaten vegetables when I wanted them, chocolate when I wanted it, snuggled with Rodrigo on the couch, allowed myself to be late in posting on the blog: all necessary, affirming, gorgeous steps to letting myself feel like shit when I need to (that was a very Portuguese thing to say, and I stand by it).
What I’m up to is this: everything we’re going through is temporary.
Some of it is shitty. Some is beautiful. And most is just kind of … blah (unless you’re me and find romance in the little things, a habit I highly encourage). As Michelle Obama says, it is what it is. And what I know about me is that I love celebrating it all – something that is fundamentally at odds with my introvert disposition. This means that I need to demand celebration, create it when it’s not there, and enjoy it no matter what.
Why 2020 is the BEST Year for Dressing Up for the Holidays
All of this to say: Why the F not?
Why NOT pull that dress out of the closet that you bought last year and have nowhere to wear? Why NOT wear those stupid heels that you can’t walk in, take a mirror selfie, and put your socks back on? Why NOT do your brows and think to yourself how f-ing hot you are and how your mirror is living its best life in front of you?
So many of us will be stuck at home for the holidays. We don’t have the parties – except via Zoom – you don’t have to worry about people judging you for wearing the “wrong” thing, for being too fashionable or being too frumpy. Why not wear something you wouldn’t have the courage to in public? Make some popcorn, watch a movie in your old gown or in that outfit you bought on impulse. Rent something from Rent the Runway or Armoire and read a book on the sofa with a glass of champagne. Play Twister with your pod at home. Do something that makes you laugh, or fills you with warm and fuzzies.
I love it.
Yes, it’s indulgent, yes, it’s stupid – that’s the whole point. We need Silly right now (it’s actually a form of love, did you know?) – along with fun, beauty, expression, and joy. That’s why 2020 is the best year for dressing up for the holidays: because we need to.
As we celebrate on top of the ruins that are 2020, why not do it in a way that brings you JOY? If you’re here on the blog, and you’ve made it this far, chances are you love fashion (or you’re related to me – hi, Mendeses). Indulge that. Let yourself play dress-up, even if you’re the only person in your household who’s doing it. Be silly. Be a bit frivolous. Feel yourself. You don’t have to spend anything – pull out that lipstick you bought last year, that obscenely sparkly necklace your grandmother gave you. And just be with it.
Have a BALL, even if for a moment – because it’ll be over before you know it.
love,
Stig
